The Healing Happened When I Did Nothing

She didn’t come in with a bang. She came in with a breath.

I think I finally met my Divine Feminine.

Not in a goddess circle. Not during a moon ritual. Not even while journaling by candlelight.

She came to me in the stillness—when I stopped chasing.
When I paused long enough to hear the quiet parts of myself that I’ve spent years drowning out with productivity, performance, and proving.

She whispered to me during a therapy session when I finally admitted something out loud I didn’t even know I believed:

“I don’t think I truly deserve anything unless I do something for it. Unless I work for it.”

There it was.
The core wound. The hidden root.
The belief that worthiness must be earned.

And it hit me hard. Because I’m the healer.
I’m the coach who helps others untangle these exact thoughts.
I help my clients rewrite stories, rewire scarcity, reconnect to their value.

But here I was—realizing that deep down, I still felt I had to earn my place. My blessings. My rest. My joy.

And if I’m being honest, I was afraid of the stillness.

I thought if I stopped moving, stopped producing, stopped doing, I’d fall behind.
That I’d fail.

That everything I had worked so hard to build would crumble if I dared to rest.
But the truth?

Stillness didn’t ruin me—it revealed me.

Where did this belief begin?

Maybe it was childhood, when being a “good girl” felt safer.

Maybe it was adolescence, when I noticed that the “pretty girls”—the ones who were popular, often hypersexualized, the ones who knew how to perform desirability—seemed to get all the attention.

Maybe it was years of subtle self-abandonment, trying to meet impossible standards that were never mine to begin with.

Whatever the origin, I’ve spent most of my life addicted to the chase.
Addicted to doing.
Addicted to earning what I already was worthy of.

But something shifted. Not in a loud, dramatic way—but in a soft, almost imperceptible one.

I started to feel the pull toward slowness. Toward creation with no goal.
Toward being for the sake of being.

I’ve been making things—not to launch, not to monetize, not to impress. Just because it feels good to move energy through me.

I’ve been resting—not out of exhaustion, but out of reverence.

I’ve been listening—not for strategy, but for soul.

And this… this is where I finally met her.
My Divine Feminine. The version of me I’ve been longing to be.
Not as a concept or aesthetic—but as a living, breathing truth within me.

She is not demanding.
She does not rush.
She doesn’t ask, “What have you done for me lately?”

She says, “You are enough. Come home.”

I know I’m not the only one feeling this. I see it all over my feed—people slowing down, questioning the grind, softening into something more honest.

Maybe it’s the New Moon in Cancer.

Maybe it’s the fact that Jupiter has returned home in Cancer for the first time in over a decade.

Whatever it is, there’s a collective craving to nourish something deeper. Something real. Something that doesn’t need to be marketed, measured, or monetized.

The part of you that’s been longing for softness, for stillness, for slowness—it’s not a flaw.
It’s sacred.
It’s your feminine asking to be felt, not fixed. Held, not hurried.

Thank you for listening(well, reading hehe).
Cheers to truth. To tenderness. To LIVING.

Faith <3